Left everything unspoken.....

Written on17 apr 2007,

Oh, I remember my first day in school,
Sat beside a girl in a yellow dress;
Was nervous when her lunch she offered,
Was shy when her water bottle I had to fill,
The elephant she drew looked terminally ill:
But I left my taunt unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


Time flew, we grew
Friends as we were , laughed and cried,
Did pranks, then apologised,
I loved her more than friends, more than myself:
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


To admire beauty, she was the sight
Somone asked her out on the prom night
I drank the whole night
I wanted to be with her anyhow
And murder that rascal somehow
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


She got a job in a financial firm,
I, a history buff, in a museum
We exchanged emails with formal greetings
Sometimes with memories of earlier meetings
I wanted to type those words,Wanted to tell her my feelings
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


And then one day, I got a mail
The wind was no more a gale
I opened the envelope in hesitation
What fell down was her ‘Wedding Invitation’
And a tear dropped at the fold
Where her name was etched in gold;
Why did I leave everything unspoken ?
Lest her heart be broken.. !


But I buried everything within myself
Killed my feelings , poisoned my heart
I might go senile, but wanted her to smile
I may not give her happiness she deserves
With someone else, let her spend the while
And so I left everything unspoken
How could I leave her heart broken.. ?
—–
Forty years had passed , the wounds healed
The morning paper was, as ever, uncharming
When I saw a name, I had once despised
The headline told about his wife’s demise !
I retraced the name, with hesitation :
Forty years back, on the ‘Wedding invitation ‘.


And after a few telephone calls, I rushed
To a graveyard, where a gathering was hushed
They had already buried my dear,
Under a majestic pear;


When they walked back,
I sighedI leaned on the grave and . . . . . . cried.
The name etched on marble looked divine,
Instead of her’s, wish it were mine.
I could see her wearing that yellow dress
Memories were gripping at my heart
That elephant she drew, ha! it was a mess
Nostalgia was ripping me apart ..


Beside the grave, was a neat pile of books
They had belonged to her, by the looks !
This would be their last destination
I picked a diary with hesitation
And began to read . . . . .


—————————————————————-
(the first page read…)

“My first day in school went happier than it should
Sat beside a nervous boy, but he was good:
He filled my friend’s bottle, thought it was mine !
And drew an elephant as fat as he could !
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave his heart broken.. "


(I quickly turned the pages)

“I wish he’d ask me out
The prom night is closing in
Going out with him, I can’t resist
But I think he doesn’t know I exist !
Maybe he asked someone else..
So I would leave everything unspoken . .
His heart wouldn’t be broken. "


(some notes later)
“Today is my wedding, wish you would come
And speak up, if you love me, don’t stay mum
Or maybe you love someone, I don’t know
How lucky she is, she doesn’t know
If this is my fate, let it be so..
Just be happy wherever you go:
And I’d leave everything unspoken..
My dear, your heart won’t be broken.”


(and then, on the last page . .)

My doctor says I have two months of life
I’m not afraid, but I am sad
Where are you, I don’t know
Told you everything, wish I had..
Because soon I will be no more
About to open is my last door
But this diary would remain even after me
Maybe, someday, in your hands, it will be…….

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