Her Smile . .

Speaking for itself, yet mysterious
Hiding something, yet revealing
Deliberate, but small
Her smile reveals it all !

Natural but constrained
Spontaneous , yet maintained
With an intention so definite,
Yet some secrets retained.

Supported by warmth in her eyes:
Lowered by culture and social ties,
Her smile is where God resides
This is a place on earth with no lies !

For a moment of happiness, a moment of praise,
For the memory of a happy day
It is shouting aloud, can you hear
What much her smile can say ?

It speaks of the happiest moments of her life,
Of eventful days and lonely nights
Of dreams which never came true
Of regrets, though few.

But her smile also tells the way
She fought with difficulties that lay:
The overshadows she had to bear,
The cheap words she had to hear.

But she stood unbroken and carried on
With that particular smile on her face
Teasing you, irritating you, so that her smile ..
Is reflected on your face !


about this poem

Left everything unspoken.....

Written on17 apr 2007,

Oh, I remember my first day in school,
Sat beside a girl in a yellow dress;
Was nervous when her lunch she offered,
Was shy when her water bottle I had to fill,
The elephant she drew looked terminally ill:
But I left my taunt unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


Time flew, we grew
Friends as we were , laughed and cried,
Did pranks, then apologised,
I loved her more than friends, more than myself:
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


To admire beauty, she was the sight
Somone asked her out on the prom night
I drank the whole night
I wanted to be with her anyhow
And murder that rascal somehow
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


She got a job in a financial firm,
I, a history buff, in a museum
We exchanged emails with formal greetings
Sometimes with memories of earlier meetings
I wanted to type those words,Wanted to tell her my feelings
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave her heart broken..


And then one day, I got a mail
The wind was no more a gale
I opened the envelope in hesitation
What fell down was her ‘Wedding Invitation’
And a tear dropped at the fold
Where her name was etched in gold;
Why did I leave everything unspoken ?
Lest her heart be broken.. !


But I buried everything within myself
Killed my feelings , poisoned my heart
I might go senile, but wanted her to smile
I may not give her happiness she deserves
With someone else, let her spend the while
And so I left everything unspoken
How could I leave her heart broken.. ?
—–
Forty years had passed , the wounds healed
The morning paper was, as ever, uncharming
When I saw a name, I had once despised
The headline told about his wife’s demise !
I retraced the name, with hesitation :
Forty years back, on the ‘Wedding invitation ‘.


And after a few telephone calls, I rushed
To a graveyard, where a gathering was hushed
They had already buried my dear,
Under a majestic pear;


When they walked back,
I sighedI leaned on the grave and . . . . . . cried.
The name etched on marble looked divine,
Instead of her’s, wish it were mine.
I could see her wearing that yellow dress
Memories were gripping at my heart
That elephant she drew, ha! it was a mess
Nostalgia was ripping me apart ..


Beside the grave, was a neat pile of books
They had belonged to her, by the looks !
This would be their last destination
I picked a diary with hesitation
And began to read . . . . .


—————————————————————-
(the first page read…)

“My first day in school went happier than it should
Sat beside a nervous boy, but he was good:
He filled my friend’s bottle, thought it was mine !
And drew an elephant as fat as he could !
But I left everything unspoken
Couldn’t leave his heart broken.. "


(I quickly turned the pages)

“I wish he’d ask me out
The prom night is closing in
Going out with him, I can’t resist
But I think he doesn’t know I exist !
Maybe he asked someone else..
So I would leave everything unspoken . .
His heart wouldn’t be broken. "


(some notes later)
“Today is my wedding, wish you would come
And speak up, if you love me, don’t stay mum
Or maybe you love someone, I don’t know
How lucky she is, she doesn’t know
If this is my fate, let it be so..
Just be happy wherever you go:
And I’d leave everything unspoken..
My dear, your heart won’t be broken.”


(and then, on the last page . .)

My doctor says I have two months of life
I’m not afraid, but I am sad
Where are you, I don’t know
Told you everything, wish I had..
Because soon I will be no more
About to open is my last door
But this diary would remain even after me
Maybe, someday, in your hands, it will be…….

*****************************************************************

The Tear from her Left Eye.....

about this poem

A woman on a stretcher, amidst some rushing doctors,
I sense horror in their mind,
The surgical room closes, concealing everything
But a few relatives left behind !

I know nothing of her disease or ailment
But something is bad, i sigh;
As she was being hurried into the ward,
I had seen a tear in her left eye.

Beside the door, a group of enstranged people
some crying, some trembling in fear
Hesitatingly, i walk to one, take a deep breath:
"what's wrong with her, can you tell me dear ?
This heart in me is praying for you
Your agony I want to hear,
He may test you some times,but trust me,
God is near !"

"her child is dying within her ! ",shouts she
You say God is near?
Even her last dream has been shattered
I tremble at the pain she has to bear
I have lost faith in you and your God
Or in any saint or seer
You might shout to the world
'God is near', 'God is near'
If this is all God can do:
God's presence , I Fear !

The fifth time we are standing here
Inside my sister's under the knife
The fifth time we are all meeting
For an end of a life.

The fifth time , the child in her
Has suddenly stopped breathing
The fifth time, a little heart
Has stopped beating."

Every word of anguish uttered by her
Kept weakening me from within
I wanted to hug her and take all her pain
But was unsure how to begin.

Truth can be so stranger than fiction
Dark truths are not always few
Her every word was frightening
Yet, every word was True..

She adds,"three months of anticipation,
Of buying toys and a teddy bear
Thinking of 'Maa',from its tender lips
The first word mother waits to hear

My sister had selected a name too !
And knitted tiny sweaters for cold
Gave a broad smile everytime it moved
Had even got a walker for it to hold."

And she breaks away in many a tear
Anything more, even i can't hear
I look down with blurred vision
Controlling my tears: i failed in this mission.

And a drop of salty water falls..
From my eye, onto the floor
With a saddened heart i keep staring
At the surgical room door.

Time elapses, the door opens
She's brought out with care
I look at her unfocused eyes and see
Every emotion left Bare

And then my heart stops beating
I give a deep sigh
Because i see the same single tear
Beside her left eye ...


About this Poem